If you could just see me now...

I refuse to re-write what I've already written, that is in my personal notebooks. I've got 10 or more of them. (Mead 70's college ruled if you really wanna now) I am religious about not editing what i've written, in them. On here, man I do.......Most of the time I sit down, and I have something that's buggin me, or just pounding on the inside, but I won't write about it. I just keep it to myself. Today I started writing something, then conveniently held the backspace key for awhile until there was just a blank page staring back at my and all my inadequecies. Hooey. Some of us never can get past that "what is this for" phase. To me, it's a constant phase. I know I clumsily addressed this way back when I started this mess, and here it comes again..........
It's hotter than a hand grenade outside today, but I already said "walk?" to the dog, and I owe it to her. She is sitting in the closet, sad, dejected, and feeling tricked I suppose. If I could explain to her that I got to go on these writing binges every once in awhile, to sooth the brain quells, then I would. I would also explain to her that I'm not one of those "people who write about their pets all the time"
Hmmm, welp, here's another futile post, from a seemingly futile day, sorry to dampen your day if i did, a little excercise should help though.......