Interview Questions Revealed!

Hey cats, this is in response to Suzanne's "Interview Game".......i think i'm supposed to offer to interview any of you who read this hooplah, if you wanna', without further tom foolery:

1. Which fruit, in your opinion, would taste better if it were wearing a vest? Why?

I think this question is dumb. Okay, just kidding, the bannana i guess. It's a very vertical fruit, so a vest would probably "work" on it.


2. What is your favorite hymn? Is it because your name is in it?

If you're refering to the Hymn that has the line..."..And-He walks with me, and he talks with me............." no, this is not my favorite. In fact, I don't really like it at all. I would have to say my favorite is Be thou My Vision. This song has got it all, it has got it all, man. It's the kind of song, in the right circumstances can get me kinda teared up. Coincedently, Pedro the Lion did a version of this song on their "The Only Reason I feel Secure..." Album. I lovedthe hymn, before I ever heard Pedro's version. When I first heard his, i didn't think it was that great. Now I dig it. But I think I prefer the old stardard version, although the ending of Pedro's is quite haunting, in a good way.

3. Where are you when you most want to blog? What would your superblog look like? What color would its cape be? Any special powers?

Cripes! Are these questions relevant to things I've already written??? Hmmmm..........we'll I guess I'm normally in the shower or driving when I have "good" , "ideas". Sometimes, right before falling asleep too, but If you get up to write it down, or whatever, i've only delayed sleep, which I detest doing. I dig green, so If i had a superblog, green it would be. It probably would have incredible jumping powers. Not just jumping high, mind you. More of an infi-jump.

4. If you could reach one life goal by the end of March, what would it be and why?

I'd like to have a cd, complete with shrinkwrap, artwork, and obligatory "thank you's"

5. What makes you sick-to-your-stomach happy? Why?

Driving somwhere exciting, with lots of sunshine, no heat, and a great friend with great tunes, and a full tummy. Either that, or a really funny groin punch! Okay, that was dumb. Because I try to avoid being sick to the stomach. I go out of my way to not get that way. Oh yah, laughing 'till it hurts for no particular reason, with a good group of amigos, can make me deliriously happy.

Places I'd like to Go!

The following, is a list created many years ago, during my "list phase". There was previous talk of posting all these lists as mentioned by Thee Ben Mattson, alas, only a few have been recovered from the boxes were they possibly are.


Places I'd like to Go!

1. A light beer factory, so I can drink light beer all freaking day, without worrying about those pesky calories.....Light beer!

2. Kansas

3. That hill in Sterling.

4. Inside a gatorade bottle.

5. Outside

6. My brain, with a flashlight, duct tape, a video camera, a clever marketing scheme, and a via satellite link to be broadcasted on pay per view.

7. That shoe that's been hanging from the telephone wire.

8. Saschatewan........no wait...........The YUKON!

9. Sam Hill.

10. Carol Oh Carol Lampstand's Golf Benefit Concert.

Good Ol' Kansas

While at KU, Kemp wrote the following poem:
A Kansan's Choice

"Give me the land where miles of wheat
"Ripple beneath the wind's light feet.
"Where the green armies of the corn
"Sway in the first sweet breath of morn;
"Give me the large and liberal land
"Of the open heart and the generous hand;
"Under the wide-spread Kansas sky
"Let me live and let me die."

Maybe Matt was right...

I self diagosed myself with many a disease/afflictions today. I was sure I was coming down with some weird offshoot case of Vertigo, or maybe a case of hypocondria (SP?)....I've taken several medications to alleve the aggravating allergies that only are constantly attacked while working at the "Flower Shop"...that is a whole other blog (the pointlessness of working at a flower shop when your a man and other career disasters).....I am bathing for the second time today, hoping that the water, or the existential hooplah I was reading will wash away some strange chemical that's making me feel as if i'm on an airplane that's constatntly taking off. The pressure building up in my head cannot be relieved. I try the scuba resurfacing trick to no avail. I'm pinching my nose and blowing out, the hum(no musical pun intended)will not go away. During supper, I thought I was having trouble breathing for a second....weird.............After mom left to get some decongestment stuff, I decided I might as well pick up the old guitar. Incredibly, my affliction was relieved. Perhaps Matt was serious when he once told me....."there's nothing a little Rock N Roll can't fix".(be advised that quote was loosely quoted, i think).......Thanks Uncle Matt! I'm still a little dizy, but rock and roll sure helps!
Insert quote from "Almost Famous" here for more comedy..........."Rock and Roll can save the world?!?!? AND THE CHICKS ARE GREAT?!?!?!? I Sound like a ****!"
-Note to reader, this was written while listening to Appleseed Cast's lovely "Fight Song" FYI.........thanks, and Viva La Rock and Roll!

All Local Banks Changing Format?

This just in...Tri Toe times reports today, amidst the current torrential snow downfall, that Banks, yes, banks that hold money, give loans, and otherwise deal with money; will in fact, no longer be dealing with money.
When we interviewed Darryl Westerbottom of Perpetual Commerce Savings about this rapid overnight change, all he could quibble back to us was..."I don't know, I think people were just getting tired of us holding their money" We obviously shot back a clever "well, what will the banks do then?"
"banana's" Darryl said without the slightest hesitation.
"well, maybe llama saddles too"
So apparently, we will not be doing our banking in this town anymore. We will all have to learn to count our own money. On the bright side, if 50% of sales are coming from banana's, this has great potential for freshness that our local supermarkets cannot always guarantee. As for the llama saddles......We'll get back to you on that one.
Stay tuned for more news regarding this and other pressing matters.

Super Shows for Super Folks!

...Forget the Super Bowl XXXIX! Forget the hype of New England becoming the twenty first century's professional football dynasty. Forget the fact Terrel Owens, despite injury, had many superior catches. Forget Paul McCartney's halftime show. Forget the fans, the critics, the viewers, the spectators, the pagentry............
Simon Cowell, the world renowned AMERICAN IDOL judge, announced to the American population, and the world............That this season of AMERICAN IDOL.....would be.........THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL YET!!!!!!!!!!!! yes................

Through the Stacks: A true story

..sorry, I wanted to make the subject line sound provoking.........but no, it's really just about me wandering around in the public library this afternoon, checking out too many books for one man to read. The point is this, I found myself actually making a goal for myself. I figured, if I checked out a bunch of books about places I want to go, than I would be more apt to get a job, save money, so I can get there. So here is my shocking revelation! I want to be living or at least have travelled to either......Iceland or Scandanavia.....by this time next year.........ta da.......i'm sure you're gushing with admiration of my lofty goals. Perhaps you are thinking......
"..But Andy.........what ever shall you do for a living whilst living in a foreign land?"
"..I don't know........maybe i'll fish...."
The last time I went fishing was with Adam and Nathan at a little lake somewhere in the country by Emporia. I didn't do so hot. But I did catch a fish, and it was in the 100's. The time before that all we had for bait was pig testicles, and it was very windy. That was in Nebraska with the cousins. I don't remember catching anything that blustery day.
"Andy, that doesn't sound like a good fishing resume....are you sure that's a good career path in a strange land?"
"No, I am not sure....maybe I'll deliver the fish via bicycle or something. Or maybe I could work in a bookstore. I've done that. It couldn't be any worse than Barnes and Suck. Plus, after a little research I learned Iceland has 100% litteracy rate. This means that bookstores are more heavily frequented, hence the possibility of more jobs in that area...."
"I don't know Andy, I think you may be better suited here in the States.."
"You're probably right, but my goodness, we've got to try something!"
....end dialogue.