Circles and such...

..."I am an advocate, of my own dissillusionment"...(from the hit untitled song by yours truly.......anyway......i just took a shower, and noted to self my previous post. The thoughts and ideas streamed in a frenzy too quikly for just one man to capture the entire process. Perhaps I should "outline" my intentions. That would be silly. Last night I went over to the Beard's, 'cause Dennis was home for Thanksgiving, and we chatted of old Sterling day's, paper's and choir tours and the likes. Some how the topic of outlining papers came up. We both surmised that this never helped us. For me, as far as college comp class went, I had to just sit down and start writing; sure having a bunch of notes and facts helped, but if I worked on outlining, I would never begin. The irony, is I think this would help me get my thoughts across now. What a contradiction I can be. As I typed that last sentence, I think I now remember that that was what I could not stop thinking about whilst I showered. Contradicitons....Am I a "walking contradiction"? The signs seem to point towards yes. Even the fact that I am writing this, seems to be an indiction, for I feel sometimes with my words, and being silly, i'm only betraying myself, and what I'd really say, If I knew nobody would ever read this (not that many of you are). Perhaps I've gone about this whole process wrong. It seems to me that one of the themes from high school and college was, "Plan Ahead, cause if you don't have a plan you'll end up sitting around, wishing you did".....okay I don't know if that was the actual theme, but it seems like it was. Or maybe it's because I am doing just that, sitting around thining about what I should have planned out so I wouldn't be here, at 26 living with the folks, wondering were I went wrong, or if under the guidance of God, if I could have even went "wrong". And were is the proof of the contradiction? Well, I don't know why I'm writing this crap. This seems like it's leading to places were it would be easier to just file in a corner just for me, but I've started it, andwill finish. I think this whole thing is silly, because the point of writing things like this, is to get your thoughts down, so you understand them better.....not to share them with friends and strangers, so they'll think....."wow, that guys has gotgot some good points"....maybe i shouldn't have sent links to this non sense in the first place.
Balance, moderation..........these words are keys............The more you get into anything, music, books, movies, the more you know, the more you want to be a part of that lifestyle, creating your own music, your own books, your own movies....but there always seems to be that question, lightly tapping you on the head..."what are you doing this for?" Is it an outlet? Are you REALLY artistically inspired, or do you just want to be cool? Isn't that more of the age old question, even more-so than the ominous "what's the meaning of life". Everything we do seems to to beg the question, what are my motives, what ARE MY MOTIVES? Too make money, to be happy, to please God, to "walk" with God?
So as I write this, once again, I've failed miserablly to adhere to any form, to any semblence of structure, but I keep thinking for some reason...."do not edit, do not go back and read this, leave it as it is" I don't know why........have a nice day

The People (person) Have Spoken!

The People (or person) who actually read this non-sense have spoken, and It is time for me to make another post. Please note the recent change of titles for this clever site. Beforehand it was "Think & Save" a refference to a "bad idea store" Matt helped me phrase. But I felt like "exploring" my pirate tendencys, while admitting my current geographical state (no pun intended). Oh man, this is dumb. I also should warn you that I probably will change the name again, most likely without notice. I'm also considering a video broadcast, via satelitte to my brain, with streaming video clips here so you can literally see what I was thinking, so I don't have to write this, 'cause it never goes where I originally intended (wow Andy, what a bold idea, I'm sure nobody else has ever had that problem). This leads me to my next "point". I was thinking the other day (hey, watch the slams buddy) while I was showering about a current dilemma/observation. It actually relates to thinking, and how no matter how hard we (or me) try, the best "ideas" seem to come at the most inopportune times. Whether it be while you are completly naked and showering, or driving alone across Kansas, the fact remains that I am completly too far away from a pen and paper. By the time you get to some the "idea" is gone, and I'm left sitting on a couch thinking how dumb of an idea it probably was anyway. No, I'm not going to go into an invention speech (though I probaly will later), I'm just making excuses to why I'm a habitual rambler/run-on-sentencer/inapporpriate parantheses user etc.......okay I don't remember my point even to the last few sentences....maybe it was something about my short term memory.....GOULET! If you tried making a "comment" before and it said you couldn't unless you were a member, I think I changed that now, so comment away! I'm going to go get some sody now.......have a nice day....

YES!

Attention America.........I was flipping through channels, getting my news fix, when I briefly stopped on the entertainment channel, or whatever that channel is called that scrolls constantly with all our favorite programs,and in depth interviews with all our favorite stars......anyway.........They just announced a new CONTROVERSIAL MEDICAL DRAMA! YES! I Cannot wait, until this new beacon of prime time begins!

Driving 'round town.

...So I've verbally admitted to myself that I can be quite lazy, and today was no exception. I got up around 10, checked my email, had some Honey Nut cheerios, and watched a movie. It made me feel better about laying around, but worse because I didn't want to live in Kansas anymore, at least not today. I don't feel like telling you what movie it was, so there. I did some laundry, and proceeded to do at least one civic and or household good deed by rounding up all the recyclables and taking them to the walmart (hell-mart, death-mart, abuse-mart, dog-mart, depress-mart are some other names I use for it) recycling center. There's something about the whole walmart experience that thickens the dark clouds already brewing around my head. I empty the milk jugs, the tin cans, brown sacks, junk mail, newspaper, plastic bottles, plastic sacks, and finally the clear glass (I broke a glass washing dishes yesterday), and I'm on my way. I didn't even go in the store today, didn't spend a nickel, but the feeling is the same. I go to the nearby Best Buy for no reason, and knew this was a bad idea. If I'm already in a foul mood, I should know better than going to Best Buy. Too many Cd's I shant buy. I'm back in the parking lot (should I be using paragraphs here....i don't know) and am driving home. I don't want to go home in particular, so I take the long, scenic way. I drive by Phil's old house which still looks pretty much the same. The gum sign had no gum on it though. (There is a no parking sign close to Phil's house that we used to put our gum on). I drive over the Ku hill, still feeling miserable for no particular reason, when the "DJ" from the local college radio station fumbles through a simple list of bands playing particular shows this evening. Apparently the "Ice Cream Sandwiches" are playing tonight. I had to smile. I could not hold it back. Even when nothing else seemed funny, interesting, or worth caring about, this of all things snapped the disaffected mood.
Oh, that is funny. The ICE CREAM SANDWICHES. They must be Emo.
As I'm writing this, Molly, my little sister hands me a letter that apparently got lost in a stack of her mail. It's a bill to Galichia Medical Group, from several outstanding doctor's visits, but it doesn't even phase me now, I take it in stride....

Gray and Raining

...So (be forewarned, I begin a lot of things with "so") I'm sitting at the
computer and drinking some Starbucks coffee my brother gave me and wondering if I'm actually going to write on this site more than once a month or not......it's like....."I could tell you nothing or everything" what's it gonna be Raymond. Hmmmm.......It's very gray and rainy outside. I put the dog inside. This is going nowhere. I'll probably finish one of the 3 war movies i've already started. I started Saving Private Ryan this morning, but was distracted by an impromtu disc golf game with Shua. I destroyed myself. Not a good day for my "short game". Oh golf terms, so cute, so annoying. Have a swell day....

Brownies

Molly made brownies.......ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Oh the Power (or not so much) of printed non-sense!

.........so.......I'll be the first to admit. I have a problem starting things. We'll, maybe more of finishing them, i've "started" plenty of things. So in starting a blog, it's weird so far, because in my grand scheme of all things I would have waited until I had the perfect Title, a great Idea for what I was actually trying to accomplish if anything, and the likes. Instead, I finally sit down to do this non-sense in the most "uncreative" of moods. Normally, one would think that you would start such a creative project, or endeavor when one was in a "creative" mood. We'll, if i sit around any longer and wait for the perfect spark, we'll never have a fire, hence we'll never have a grill going, and none of us shall be able to nibble on the succulent bbq i've got planned "way back in there". Yes, I know I use too many quotation marks, and yes, I know, I should have started this fiasco on a day where I would be dedicated to non mediocrity, devotion to non-run-on sentences, and a general love for grammatical correctedness. "On with the pen, and all that!", I shout, as I metaphorically begin to tackle and slay the beast that prevents me from understanding the most rudimentary forms of technology I despise but secretly wish I knew how to wield. Enjoy or don't, but let us not, not raise our metaphorical glasses to the possibilities of so many possibilities, and run-ons, and grammatical guffaws, for a chance to explain something, anything, for fun, for all seriousness, for life, liberty, and the pursuit of cleverly inserted phrases.