my newest post ever.

It's late for a worknight. This memorial day weekend kind of spoiled my appetite for laboring in the heat....grrr............I really am thankful for the veterans sacrifices. I hate to think of myself not remembering them at the very least. I didn't watch saving private ryan, i kind of reserved that for veterans day in a tradition i established two years ago.

I wish when i typed the background was black, it's just more mood friendly. The stark white is well, stark, like moby dick. If you've ever read Moby Dick you'll remember that there are pages dedicated to man's irrational fear of things stark white. Ironically, i picked back up my copy of Moby Dick today in an effort to wade through it again. I've been treading around page 200 for a little too long. My dad has been reading a book called "The glory of their Times" about classic baseball players from the turn of the century. He's been telling me i'd like it for a month now.........tonight i picked it up as I was watching a Royals game because i couldn't go to sleep (irrational fears) and in the first few pages there is a description of how Moby Dick is a book about whaling, but not really just about whaling. Just as this book "isn't really just about baseball"........weird that both books were randomly on top of each other on the coffee table in the living room. Egghh.......also my dad discovered that there was a guy from the early 1900's from his hometown area that played for the Brookly Dodgers that he never new about but learned this weekend while at his high school reunion. He came home and sure enough Dazzy Vance ( i think that is hi name) is in the classic book, which i now must read.
There is a bunch to life that seems to be an endless metaphor.........
I really should try sleeping now..........

inevitable

....but they leave you the way you aren't
they allow the clouds to surround you're nemesis
perpetrating the chorus nobody hears
perpetrating the circular patterns you wish
with all you're heart somebody, anybody could straighten
even just a little.

Things I've never seen in Lawrence.

Bumper stickers that say "War might be the answer"
T-Shirts that say "Overall, George W. Bush is probably an ok guy"
Poetry collections with the title "Poets for the war"
Signs in peoples yards that read "another neighbor against absolute pacificsm"

Fear # 2,342

if you admit it, there's a better chance of dealing with it.
: Connection, without retention. This plagues me at times. Most of life seems to be wandering around trying mostly in vain to "connect" to people. In the rare case that you do, there is a larger percentage that you will not "retain" the connection than you will.
It's not than i'm purposely vommiting pessimisim, it's an attempt at catharsis. aj

Advice for work.

Walk briskly, and carry a heavy load.